(S+C) x (B+F)/T=V

Scientists discovered that the forumla to a perfect butt is (S+C) x (B+F)/T=V? 

S stands for overall shape
C for circularity
B for bounciness
F for firmness
T for texture
V for the ratio of her waist to her hips

I’m not bragging but… I figured this out like eight years ago.

Cyndaquil

Alright. I guess since I’m the leading expert on this, I should throw in a few words.

Cyndaquil are a pretty rare Pokemon. It’s a testament to how lucky and awesome I am that I’ve gotten to team up with one.

And if you’ve added one to your posse, that’s great. They’re really fantastic Pokemon. But if you’re having trouble controlling it or it’s having trouble controlling itself, you really are a dumbass.

They’re pretty docile dudes. And if it goes for a hug and burns you… Either it or you is a dumbass. So yeah

Party

The house was host to a pretty wicked party last night!

A bit too wicked… I spent like $300!
Ack! My friends think I’m made of money!

Of course, I’ll burden the weight like a champ, because we’re all happy. I just wish my wallet was a bit happier too… Haha, but don’t let any of them know I’m saying this.

EDIT:

OH, AND THEY BROKE MY NEW TRAMPOLINE. WTF?!

Trampoline…

Why don’t I own a trampoline?

I THINK IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER ADVENTURE! Off we go! To find a trampoline available for our purchase!

Breaking news from New Bark:
It’s pretty sweltering.
In other news; local hero’s hot, stinky monkey partner refuses to get his stupid butt off of the fan. Local hero slowly dies of sweaty monkey stink, but remains steadfast in his claims that it is “way better than anywhere else in the house.”
He added, “Oh man I would go swimming, but it’s too hot to even want to go and get changed. You know?”

Breaking news from New Bark:

It’s pretty sweltering.

In other news; local hero’s hot, stinky monkey partner refuses to get his stupid butt off of the fan.
Local hero slowly dies of sweaty monkey stink, but remains steadfast in his claims that it is “way better than anywhere else in the house.”

He added, “Oh man I would go swimming, but it’s too hot to even want to go and get changed. You know?”

I had the weirdest dream…
I had the weirdest dream…

I had the weirdest dream…

I had the weirdest dream…

oh god the FIREWORKS

oh god the FIREWORKS

Maybe I need a haircut…
NAHHH! That’s just what mom would want haha

Maybe I need a haircut…

NAHHH! That’s just what mom would want haha

Oh crap

It was my birthday!

I guess I forgot because me and Totaro were building fireworks. Don’t ask what they were for. But no, they weren’t for my birthday.

YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!